Tuesday I was on top of the world. Nothing could stop me. I was Wonder Woman. Maybe it was the chocolate sugar rush. I attended all of day 1 of WriteOnCon, finished my essay for University, spent a few hours on social media, worked on some re-writes, filled out some job applications, did laundry, cleaned the kitchen, and made dinner in time for my in-laws coming home from work. I went to bed feeling great.
On Wednesday, I crashed my invisible jet and had my powers stripped away. What happened?
Shower frustration:
The bathroom that I share with hubby and SS (Scottish sister) is being remodelled. Dust and plastic line the walls. It will be nice when it’s done, but in the meantime, it’s a mess. It’s been like this for three weeks. I’m in the shower. My hair’s wet and I can’t find my shampoo, it’s been moved. I end up washing my hair with body soap. Great start.
Blog blues:
It’s Wednesday, blog day. I plan on writing about WriteOnCon, but I’m feeling less enthusiastic about it today. I go through my notes and realise that I didn’t write down as much as I thought I had, and what I did write, didn’t make any sense. No time to go back through the transcripts, just have to wing it. Post blog, not my best, but job done. Whew!
In-Laws and Personal Space:
Living with my in-laws has been an adjustment. We’ve gone from a house of our own to a house with 5 adults . I absolutely adore my Scottish family. More than anyone could possible know, but it’s been an adjustment. It’s not really my house. I spend most of my time in the bedroom, working and reading or feeling guilty that I should be doing more to help around the house. SM (Scottish Mom) and SS are both off today. DH (Dear Hubby) works from home, so he has a small office up the stairs. Other SS is over with the kids. The house is never empty. I should really get out more.
What does she do up there all day? :
They must wonder about me. The way I disappear up the stairs when other people are around, but it’s the only place in the house that’s mine. I feel rude heading up to my room, but want to log in for WriteOnCon and have a ton of phone calls and job applications to sort through. Do you think they believe that I’m upstairs ‘writing’ all day? I’m sure I’m just paranoid.
Jobless:
Another day of phone calls, applications, and rejection letters coming through. The job market is horrible. More guilt for not working, but secretly wish I didn’t have to go back since I’m getting so much writing done. I’d rather be writing.
Forum Frustrations:
WriteOnCon is an awesome concept and an awesome conference, but it’s frustrating me today. I’m having trouble keeping up with everything. There are live events and forum events and a lot to keep up with. It can be confusing at times. I post my query and first 5 pages on the critique forum. I want some genuine critique; it’s not just an ego trip. There are over 200 posts on the forum and most people don’t look past the first page. I’ve paid it forward, sifting past the first page and looking for posts with small numbers of replies. Three days of the conference and I get 1 response on the 1st five pages and 3 on the crit. Some posts have lots of replies, others a few. Maybe it’s my title? The genre? What makes some posts get tones of critiques and others, none.
Missed the boat:
The conference has an AMAZING line of up agents and editors who represent YA. I attended live events with top people in the business. They get too many queries for vampires, angles, demons, ect… Demons? It’s too late for demons? I didn’t write Touched by Darkness for the market. In fact, when it was making the rounds several years ago, there wasn’t much in the way of horror/paranormal out there for YA. Now, now that I’m in the middle of a major re-vision that’s taking me longer than I wanted. I’ve missed the boat. *bangs head against the wall*
Wimpy Woman:
My powers had been stripped away. Defeated. Then a writer friend of mine (Thanks, Vaughn) reminded me to step away from the keyboard. I hadn’t allowed myself a break in the six weeks since we moved up here. I was pushing myself to squeeze writing into every second of free time while I’m in between jobs. I did’nt want to burst the writing bubble. Stressing about life and writing and success and failure, social media, re-writes, blogging, reading about the business, and job hunting that I needed to STOP!
Thursday Unplugged:
I didn’t attend WriteOnCon. I didn’t read blogs or check my blog stats. I checked my e-mail twice instead of every ten minutes. I turned off my smartphone so I wouldn’t look at twitter. I took a walk, spent some time with my SS on her day off, played Dragon Age on the xbox, ate chocolate and read for hours. Guilt free. I’m throwing away my Wonder Woman costume, and I’m not getting the invisible jet fixed. It cost me a fortune in gas anyway. I’m content to be Heather, writer, lover of books and eater of chocolate.
STOP! Do you need to step away from the keyboard?
Good for you, Heather! And don’t forget, I was only giving you back advice you’d given to me. It’s funny how we can sometimes see what others need more easily than what we need for ourselves.
As for as ‘missing the boat,’ I say there’s no way that’s true. I haven’t actually read your work, but even if it was about vampires, I know it’s been a long-term labor-of-love. That, in and of itself, will give it the heart and soul that will set it apart in a market full of formulaic, phoned-in knock-offs.
Nothing like a day of reading, xbox, and chocolate to reset one’s mental health. Are you done with Dance of Dragons? After working in the shop all week, finally finishing my carpentry project, I think I’m going to take ‘our’ advice, and block off some GRRM-time today. Just what I need before diving into my re-write next week. 🙂 Have a great weekend!
Heather and Vaughn, thank you both. I make myself crazy from time to time. Between three kids, babysitting, training for a 1/2 marathon, social media, and my wip, I have days when I don’t know when to fit sleep in. I stressed over my blog, too. Then, I decided I just wanted to talk about things that make me happy, and remind myself a little of why I do what I do. Anyway, writers(and runners, for that matter) are a crazy lot, I’m glad to have people like you on my side. 🙂
@Tonia-I can’t imagine having three kids on top of everything. You’re awesome! Try not to stress 🙂 I need to take my own advice. And I think I’ll take some of yours as well. I need to blog about what makes me happy. We write because we love it. I don’t want it to become a burden. (((hugs)))
@Vaughn-Thank you! You are one of my favorite online friends. Thanks for being so supportive. I’ve been re-reading the first four books. So much happens and I wanted to reemerse myself in Westeros before starting Dance. I forgot how much I LOVE GRRM. Only a few chapters left of Feast, should start with Dance this weekend. Would love to chat about it when we’re both done. 🙂 Have a great weekend!
Thanks for stopping by Heather (my daughters name.) What a situation you have found yourself in…
When I married my husband his elderly Mother lived with him. I adored her. When she got sick my new home was invaded by my husbaands 6 older sisters, their spouses and their children and grand children. Like you I spent my life upstairs in a little room. I polished my book and wrote and read a lot. Every once in awhile I took a break and went to the mall or the library. When she passed away the crowds evaporated…
I hope your situation has a good outcome. I would not worry about being late on any story..if it is good they will buy it! You could always tuck it away and work on something new. Like fashion the style will come back.
It is very hard for me to let go of the marketing. I am a control freak. But I must; I have (2) other WIP’s that need to be finished (ready for editing) in October.
Hey Heather,
I understand about a lot of that. Personal space, etc. Sometimes you need to step away and breathe. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed too by the conference. I read query letters and hoped to get a response in return. I did get some.
I think I was feeling low because people were getting offers and such. But then a friend remeinded me. Don’t give up. The writing world is so subjuective. Just keep writing and remember why you write.
I don’t think you missed the boat. things change and go up and down. What is hot this year might not be hot next year.
If you ever need a beta reader let me know. And remember you’re not alone. We all get frustrated at times, and when that happens–step away.
thanks for sharing.
@Ladonna-Thank you! I think the whole conference was a bit overwhelming. I’ve been to a lot of face to face conferences, but this was my first on-line one. It was great, but I do think it was a little hard to manage and navigate. I’m sure it will get better each year. I will be taking you up on your beta reader offer once I’m done with the re-writes. And feel free to use me anytime as well!
@Doreen-thank you for sharing your experience. It really helped. I know I need to remeber this is only temporary. I’ll have my personal space back soon enough. In the meantime, I should be happy that I have time and space to write. Let me know when the book trailer is finished. Would love to see it! Good luck with your editing.
Thank you both for stopping by! 🙂
Awesome post. I think the Wonder Woman costume is way overrated 😉 You do the best you can. It sounds like you have an awesome family, but anyone would be stressed out with five adults in one house, searching for a job, writing, etc.
And don’t write for the market. Just because “demon” books may be out doesn’t mean *your* demon book will be out. Seriously, submit it. Don’t let that hold you back…and I’m sure not every agency feels that way.
You are doing fabulous 🙂 Keep writing and don’t get discouraged. It’s easy to do (believe me, I struggle with ISS–I Suck Syndrome…well, all the time) so just keep believing in yourself and your writing. I believe in you.
I have an autoimmune disease. Some days I have to step away from the keyboard or my body will just go *ka-plunk* and that’s never good. It’s good to just take a break every now and then, unplug from everything. It’s hard for me to do, it gives me anxiety, but overall my health (and sanity) are more important…kinda need my brain to function properly, you know, for the long haul 😉
I love your blog posts. They are spectacular. *sending hugs and virtual chocolate*
Courtney, thank you! You are truly an inspiration. Writing can be such a lonely job, it’s great to have such wonderful online friends to help you through the ISS. You’re awesome! I feel blessed to have met you.
I know what you mean about having anxiety when you take a break. Sometimes I feel so guilty! It’s not healthy for anyone, but especially if you’re fighting an autoimmune disease on top of everyday living. Hang in there and if you every need any virtual chocolate or a pep talk, let me know. Make sure you take care of yourself. I want your brain to work for the long haul too!
*hugs*
I love the adage that we women can do it all and have it all — just not all at the same time. It’s good to unplug, regroup, and prioritize. It always feels like someone else is juggling the balls better than I, but we really only have to be good enough…not perfect. Great reminder. Thanks for your post!