Morning everyone! Today, I thought we could talk about the dreaded query. *groan* Does anyone actually like writing queries? If you do, please let me know. I would love to hear your thoughts. Me, I hate them. I find them harder than anything else. I need extra doses of chocolate to get through mine. Seriously! I have rewritten my query about eighteen times and I still don’t think it’s right. In fact, the more I work on it, the worse it gets.
When I won a query critique from WriteOnCon’s awesome Shannon Messenger, I was stoked! Fresh eyes. Hooray! She gave me some much needed direction and advice, breaking down information I’d heard before in a way that finally clicked! Thank you, Shannon.
Here are a few things she said that really helped me:
1) Coax the MAXIMUM impact out of every sentence. It’s amazing how much you can convey when you really have the right words. That’s what makes query writing so hard, finding the absolute best words to communicate what you’re trying.
2) REALLY push yourself to create some powerhouse sentences to explain your characters. This way you can cover most of those important back story details and then move on to the plot.
3) The real mistake most people make with their query is to get caught up in trying to really explain the character–but in a one page letter, what the agent REALLY wants to know is: what happens in the book–and is that something I want to read. So you need to have them know who your characters are, but only enough basic detail so they can understand the stakes of the plot. All the backstory and subtle nuance will come in the basic story itself.
4) Great example! If you were writing a query for Harry Potter, what would you really need to know about him? That he’s 11. That he’s a wizard. And that he’s the chosen one/boy who lived. All the other details about never having friends and living in a cupboard with the Dursleys and being good at quidditch and stuff doesn’t matter for the query. Just the most fundamental things are needed so you can understand, oh, okay, so he’s a kid, he can do magic, and oh, the bad guy is after him because he’s the chosen one/boy who lived.
With Shannon’s advice and critique in hand, I spent this morning re-writing it one more time. I think it’s finally getting there. I would love to know what you guys think. Your comments and feedback are welcome and appreciated.
Touched By Darkness Query Has been taken down for revision. Thank you for all your comments and feedback!
I’m with you, I hate doing query letters. It’s my least favorite writing task, with synopsis writing at a close second.
I like yours very much. I’ll give you my two cents, with the understanding I’m terrible at this. My first impression of your two opening lines was really favorable. I like them. But by the end I was wondering about them. Who dies, and why sooner? Is the reference about Quinn, seeing/dreaming her own death? Even though I like the lines, I’m not sure how tightly they tie to the story. My other one cent is a tiny thing, but it took me a minute to connect the dark visitors to the demons. Can you just say demons right off, or stay with dark visitors? I’m not sure it’s a big issue, but it made me stumble momentarily. Again, just one poor query writer’s observations. It does intrigue me. I’d ask for pages if I were an agent. 🙂
Vaughn, thank you! I think you’re right. Why don’t I say demons right from the begining? I’m too in love with the phrase dark visitors. Drat! Must kill darlings. As for who dies-In chapter one, the demons tell Quinn that everybody must die sometimes. Some sooner than others. They show her her death at different times during the story and at the climax, they convince Quinn to take her own life. They tell her it’s the only way to truly be free of them.
I know it still needs work, but having feedback really helps!
I think I hate writing a synopsis even more than a query. 🙁 Yuk!
I hate the query letter and then the synopsis.
I really like this query. It’s very interesting. The opener is really good, but I wonder if you need the first two sentences in the query. The 21 days is a real kicker. I’m wondering why she hasn’t slept that long, and then you tell us, which makes me want to know more.
I might stick with dark visitors or demons. At first, I wasn’t sure if they connected.
My thoughts so take it or leave it. Thanks for sharing. I’d request it. 🙂
Ladonna, thank you! You make a good point. Maybe I should get rid of the first line all together and go striaght for the 21 days. Based on both yours and Vaughn’s feedback, I think I’ll get rid of the dark visitors and stick with demons. I can see why this could get confusing. The last thing I want is for an agent to feel confused by reading it. Thanks again for your feedback 🙂
Mmmm. Think I must be the weirdo here. I LOVE writing them, I find it quite easy to get to the bare bones of the story. Maybe it’s because my writing style is rather direct and unflowery.
I could write queries all day. It’s having the time and patience to sit down and write the actually book that I have trouble with 🙂
Oh! I think we’re on to a winner here. Maybe you can write all my queries and I can write all your books 😉 And for the record, you are a weirdo, but that’s why I love ya! xx
Back when I had a love/hate relationship with the Literary Agent & Legacy Publishing biz, I truly hated query letters.
Now that I have a hate/hate relationship with the Literary Agent & Legacy Publishing biz, I just smile every time I see someone else gnashing their teeth over query letters.
Does that make me a bad person? 🙂
No, that doesn’t make you a bad person. It might make you a smart person. Did something particular happen to make you go from love/hate to hate/hate? I’m not quite ready to give up knocking on the agent doors yet, so I better keep working on that darn query!